[Maybe he... doesn't really have the right to judge someone on that. But it's because it's such a major flaw of his own that he has some authority on the matter, or something like that. Disappearing without a word, letting time wear away the memories that need forgetting. He knows how easy it is to give in to feelings like that, but... He couldn't help Inaho once already. This time, he can at least stop him from that. He hopes.]
[And he's certain that Inaho knows it. He's a smart kid, after all. Probably a lot smarter than Ritsu, and he wouldn't exactly put down his own intelligence. Did what happened shake him up that badly...? Or maybe... Something else happened after Ritsu last saw him. That's not unlikely.
In that case, what can he say to him? What can he do for him? Their backgrounds are completely different... He doesn't have a way or a right to convince him at all. Still, Ritsu owes him a lot. For taking him in, for training him, for not giving up on him. In this entire place, he might be the one Ritsu feels most comfortable with. After all that, to just let him go off on his own...]
The room is so that others would have a chance of survival. It also provides a environment for others to work together and to allow everyone to get rest.
[That was literally the only reason he made the room. It was beneficial to everyone to stick together and protect each other. But, for that you had to have trust. Inaho had breached that trust and so he had removed himself from the equation.]
[He's not sure what response he expected. He's not sure what he hoped for. Some form of personal attachment to the notion, maybe, but there's nothing. Again, Ritsu's completely powerless to change anything. What should he do?]
This is to protect you and the others. It makes no sense that you would want me back when the potential for a relapse of behavior could happen any moment.
[He's doing this to protect you and the others even though he wouldn't admit that outright. What happened scared him.]
[Is it logic or emotion that governs him? Ritsu still can't tell, even a simple detail like that. He doesn't know anything. He lowers his phone, defeated yet again, unsure of what to say. Should he say anything further?
Unaware of how much time may or may not have passed in between responses, he lifts his phone once more.]
Whatever the case, please feel free to contact me for any reason.
[He thought he wouldn't hear from him again. He thought that even if he scoured the school, Inaho was resourceful enough to keep himself hidden. Like the other noted, it would be impossible to continue forever in a limited environment such as this one, but... All of these unknown factors were enough to make it feel long enough. It's already been so long, as it is.
But he receives the message, and he stares back, stunned. He springs to his feet at once, ready to comply, before he realizes that he should confirm it via text first.]
[Part of him isn't sure this is the best course of action. He knew the other well enough to know that Ritsu was the type to do as he was told, to over analyze situations and that he would act out for himself and for others if the situation called. Maybe that was part of why he had told the other to meet him at the pool. Also, it would ensure the other could knock him in just as Slaine had if anything to get a head start or to protect himself if he felt threatened.
He sits a little ways away from the edge of the pool, right arm tucked against his stomach as he stared down into the water.]
[He arrives shortly enough after sending his confirmation text. The hallways being as they are turned him about a couple of times, but he hurried over. He didn't want to risk Inaho changing his mind. That said, the thought did occur to him that he might not even be there at all. He couldn't do anything but believe in it and try, but when he sees him sitting near the pool, he's surprised enough to see him, after all.
He looks so... alone. Staring into the water like that, what is he thinking about? Ritsu can't help but wonder, but he also knows he'll likely never understand. Unsure exactly of how to approach, Ritsu steps towards him and sits down beside him, his eyes fixed on the water, just like Inaho.]
[He hears the other come in and approach. He was trained to listen for things like that, and the fact that Ritsu wasn't and he was normal, a non-combatant probably didn't even weigh on the other how much noise he made. He listens to the other's question and doesn't speak for several moments letting the silence slip between them, he flexes his hand resting against his abdomen and winces. It hurts, but it could have been worse.]
Long enough.
[Inaho isn't the type of person to comfort others, or even understand why they got upset about certain things, but he would sit there quietly and let the other see he was all right. The bruises had almost faded now into faint yellow and greenish splotches on his neck, and hands and jaw, but other than that he looked as okay as anything.]
[He made a mistake. Focusing his gaze forward makes the silence between them that much more awkward, but he feels unable to change it up once it's been in motion for so long.
That is, until the silence is finally broken. Inaho's ambiguous response is a bit disheartening, honestly, but then Ritsu wonders why he might have expected anything further. He can't guess what Inaho is thinking, but it's probably a given that he's feeling lonely. Ritsu turns his gaze towards him, and he notices the faded bruises at once. His eyes then follow his arm to his stomach. The way he's holding it... Is he hurt? Then, maybe something else happened to him...? Is he afraid? Ritsu's not really sure how to ask.]
[He is honest. The other seemed like the type to worry, so he wanted to let him have a few minutes before he inevitably would have to return to the room without him.]
[That's it...? Again, despite trying to trick himself into thinking he's not, he can't help but feel disappointed. Though he should know better to expect anything more than basic responses, basic regard, basic relations... No, in the first place, Ritsu's not trying to form meaningful relationships, so he really doesn't have the right to complain when he lacks them.
He looks away once more, mostly to hide the expression that's likely evident on his face, the one that tends to give it all away. Instead, he needs to focus on Inaho. Despite his intentions, Ritsu can't quite agree that he's "okay." Of course, he doesn't exactly have any evidence to support this claim. Maybe he only wants him to stick around for his own personal comfort. That thought... He hates himself for it. If he's so in need of comfort, Saga's offering plenty of that. But— that thought makes him hate himself even more.
It just seems like everything is falling apart. In this sort of situation, it's like they started with nothing. Handed nothing, told nothing, expected nothing, but amidst that, Inaho created something. That room. Maybe it's really not anything that meaningful. Maybe, once again, Ritsu's forcing a connection out of something relatively ordinary. Maybe he's projecting all of his emotions onto Inaho. Maybe, ultimately, the one who's really lonely is Ritsu.
Maybe it's both of them. Ritsu can't really tell anymore. He can't know without Inaho expressing it directly, and what he does know is that that's something that won't ever happen. Why did he come here...? All that's happening is that he's being shown once again how powerless he is.
He bites his lower lip, his gaze once again straying towards the water. Maybe the silence between them is better. Whenever he tries to speak, he complicates things. He ruins things. Earlier, he accused Inaho of running away. But even now, it's him. He's still averting his eyes from all of this reality. Being like this... It's a burden. The one who doesn't have the right to stay in that room, it's him. Even now, as he's letting all these negative emotions seep in, he's becoming more and more of a burden. He hates it.]
I see.
[The words are faint, barely escaping. Standard words of acceptance that he uses when there's nothing left for him to say.]
[If he could have read the other's mind, he would have been at a loss on how to respond. But, so far he just sits there the silence not exactly comfortable, but not horrible either. The other seems to be squirming for some reason, so he just patiently waits for him to talk. When it's two words he knows that from that, Ritsu is having a hard time. Just the way he talks, the timbre and way it takes him so long.]
You're upset.
[He could tell that much, but he couldn't quite figure out why. So, with Ritsu maybe it was better to ask?]
[Ah... Was it that obvious? And here Ritsu had thought he hid it well enough. Someday, perhaps, he'll learn that he speaks in more ways than the words he chooses. Having to answer for his emotions, however, is a difficult task. Why exactly is he upset? They're not exactly close or anything, so Ritsu doesn't really have the right to feel personally slighted or to interfere with Inaho's personal decisions. Trying to think about his own rationale makes his head hurt. He doesn't want to face it.]
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[Maybe he... doesn't really have the right to judge someone on that. But it's because it's such a major flaw of his own that he has some authority on the matter, or something like that. Disappearing without a word, letting time wear away the memories that need forgetting. He knows how easy it is to give in to feelings like that, but... He couldn't help Inaho once already. This time, he can at least stop him from that. He hopes.]
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[That didn't mean he would go back to the room either.]
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[And he's certain that Inaho knows it. He's a smart kid, after all. Probably a lot smarter than Ritsu, and he wouldn't exactly put down his own intelligence. Did what happened shake him up that badly...? Or maybe... Something else happened after Ritsu last saw him. That's not unlikely.
In that case, what can he say to him? What can he do for him? Their backgrounds are completely different... He doesn't have a way or a right to convince him at all. Still, Ritsu owes him a lot. For taking him in, for training him, for not giving up on him. In this entire place, he might be the one Ritsu feels most comfortable with. After all that, to just let him go off on his own...]
Why did you create that room?
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[That was literally the only reason he made the room. It was beneficial to everyone to stick together and protect each other. But, for that you had to have trust. Inaho had breached that trust and so he had removed himself from the equation.]
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Nothing is going to change your mind?
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[He's doing this to protect you and the others even though he wouldn't admit that outright. What happened scared him.]
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Unaware of how much time may or may not have passed in between responses, he lifts his phone once more.]
Whatever the case, please feel free to contact me for any reason.
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Meet me at the pool.
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But he receives the message, and he stares back, stunned. He springs to his feet at once, ready to comply, before he realizes that he should confirm it via text first.]
I understand. I'll be there right away.
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He sits a little ways away from the edge of the pool, right arm tucked against his stomach as he stared down into the water.]
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He looks so... alone. Staring into the water like that, what is he thinking about? Ritsu can't help but wonder, but he also knows he'll likely never understand. Unsure exactly of how to approach, Ritsu steps towards him and sits down beside him, his eyes fixed on the water, just like Inaho.]
... Have you been here long?
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Long enough.
[Inaho isn't the type of person to comfort others, or even understand why they got upset about certain things, but he would sit there quietly and let the other see he was all right. The bruises had almost faded now into faint yellow and greenish splotches on his neck, and hands and jaw, but other than that he looked as okay as anything.]
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That is, until the silence is finally broken. Inaho's ambiguous response is a bit disheartening, honestly, but then Ritsu wonders why he might have expected anything further. He can't guess what Inaho is thinking, but it's probably a given that he's feeling lonely. Ritsu turns his gaze towards him, and he notices the faded bruises at once. His eyes then follow his arm to his stomach. The way he's holding it... Is he hurt? Then, maybe something else happened to him...? Is he afraid? Ritsu's not really sure how to ask.]
Um... You wanted to meet me?
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[He is honest. The other seemed like the type to worry, so he wanted to let him have a few minutes before he inevitably would have to return to the room without him.]
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He looks away once more, mostly to hide the expression that's likely evident on his face, the one that tends to give it all away. Instead, he needs to focus on Inaho. Despite his intentions, Ritsu can't quite agree that he's "okay." Of course, he doesn't exactly have any evidence to support this claim. Maybe he only wants him to stick around for his own personal comfort. That thought... He hates himself for it. If he's so in need of comfort, Saga's offering plenty of that. But— that thought makes him hate himself even more.
It just seems like everything is falling apart. In this sort of situation, it's like they started with nothing. Handed nothing, told nothing, expected nothing, but amidst that, Inaho created something. That room. Maybe it's really not anything that meaningful. Maybe, once again, Ritsu's forcing a connection out of something relatively ordinary. Maybe he's projecting all of his emotions onto Inaho. Maybe, ultimately, the one who's really lonely is Ritsu.
Maybe it's both of them. Ritsu can't really tell anymore. He can't know without Inaho expressing it directly, and what he does know is that that's something that won't ever happen. Why did he come here...? All that's happening is that he's being shown once again how powerless he is.
He bites his lower lip, his gaze once again straying towards the water. Maybe the silence between them is better. Whenever he tries to speak, he complicates things. He ruins things. Earlier, he accused Inaho of running away. But even now, it's him. He's still averting his eyes from all of this reality. Being like this... It's a burden. The one who doesn't have the right to stay in that room, it's him. Even now, as he's letting all these negative emotions seep in, he's becoming more and more of a burden. He hates it.]
I see.
[The words are faint, barely escaping. Standard words of acceptance that he uses when there's nothing left for him to say.]
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You're upset.
[He could tell that much, but he couldn't quite figure out why. So, with Ritsu maybe it was better to ask?]
Why?
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I'm not, really. Don't worry about it.